writing recap 2018: w51

Not a particularly productive week. Tooled around with outlining more. Worked on polishing a few short stories. Felt mostly bleh all week. That feeling where you know you should do more, where you even¬†want to do more, but then you just… don’t.

It’s a stupid feeling really. Because it’s not like I don’t know what I need to be doing and it’s not like I don’t know exactly what’s happening. But even still, I let some of the structures crumble and I milled about listlessly. Drifting.

And I can rail at myself mentally, and I can scold and exhort. But the fact remains that I already made the decision at the beginning of the week (semi-consciously probably) that I wasn’t going to be super productive, and then I followed through on that decision.

I need to make better decisions.

But also, I suppose I need to have a little forgiveness for myself, a little grace. Because it’s okay to have a few off days here and there. It’s not the end of the world. And part of the whole not self-flagellating (as much) thing is also focusing on what I did manage to accomplish.

So, here goes:

  • I figured out a couple major places where the plot of my novel breaks down, and I figured out a good fix for one of them. Unfortunately, this means some MAJOR rewriting, but I’m okay with that actually. Still excited about this story and these characters, and I want to make it work.
  • I did a few readability passes and light editing on a few short pieces, and FINALLY sent them off to DVA to look at. I’d been putting it off for almost two weeks at this point under the guise of editing, but mostly it was because I still feel nervous about letting other people read my work. Definitely need to get over that.
  • I got some good feedback and some great insights, and now I have a list of things that I want to add and play with to try to make those short works as good as possible. I’m pretty excited about them too actually. (This being proud of my own work thing is a little new for me. I’m literally realizing this as I’m typing it out because typing out that I’m excited about the stuff I’m working on feels… weird.)

Then, some not writing things:

  • Play tested some Levelhead, which is the new upcoming Butterscotch Shenanigans title.
  • Made six types of Xmas cookies and put together a few care packages.
  • Restarted The Artist’s Way.
  • Worked on the next episode of a podcast my friend and I are putting together.

That’s not a lot of things, but it’s not nothing.

I didn’t get that many new words written, lost to the fog of bad habit loops and dopamine fixes. But it’ll be okay. I will.

Next week is all holiday/family shenanigans, so I’m not planning to do anything too heavy. I’ll work on a few short story edits, do some feedback for DVA, and otherwise take most of the week off, I think.