I finished the first draft of my novel yesterday. It ultimately clocked in at 59,722 words.
My feelings right now are still pretty mixed. While the first draft is done, the novel itself isn’t actually done. So that weight is still there.
On the one hand, like I’ve said, I’m proud of having done this thing. Actually drafting a story like this from beginning to end was something that I had convinced myself was impossible for me to do. I believed that for a long time.
On the other hand, what I have now is a garbage pile of words that I kind of want to set on fire. I’m told this is a normal headspace to be in. I kind of never want to see this project again. Although I’ve told this story from start to finish, it’s missing a lot of things. I know that the first pass revision is going to involve extensively rewriting the whole thing, and it’ll basically feel like writing an entirely new story. Maybe. I mean, I guess I don’t know that, but that’s what it feels like from this myopic emotional distance.
Here’s some of the stuff I do know:
I hit 50,000 words this morning! (50,270 if you want to be exact)
Some people have told me that the feeling accompanying this achievement is excited elation, with light beaming down from the heavens as champagne fountains pop all around you, covering you with drunken glitteriness. I mostly thought, “Well, that happened.”
Not to say that I’m not happy with it – I definitely am! Hitting this major milestone has proven several things to myself and has (hopefully) permanently silenced a very specific jerkbrain litany that used to work really well against me. I am proud of myself.
My last two words written today were not ‘the’ and ‘end.’ I think I still have a good several thousand words to go before the climax is wrapped up and this draft is good and finished. I’m almost there though, and it’s going to happen by the end of this month. And then I’ll break out the champagne.
For now, I’ll go pour myself a less bubbly drink and take the rest of the day off (and do some Tgiving prep for tomorrow). I’ll savor this moment. And then I’ll see you back at the keys tomorrow.